Anger

They said when you're angry, count to ten (or hundred) before you speak (or react). But the more I count, the angrier I get; because I feel stupid counting, when I'm supposed to be letting off steam.

Random Old Tweets

"If you think they can't understand you, why don't you try to understand them instead? What would you lose by trying?"

"Sometimes our sensitivity make us insensitive. We think of only our feelings, without giving much thought for theirs."

"Or was it our closeness, our bonds that makes us so vulnerable to each other? Taking each other's feelings for granted.."

"Remember when you hurt each other (by words & deeds), you're hurting the rest of us, too. I'm so tired of all your bickering. It drains me.."

~ excerpts from my tweets last January 12, 2011; when my sisters had a big fight, and upset our parents.

"They all leave when they are most needed. I can't believe they were all allowed to go. I guess they think I'm supergirl."

"Give people an overdose of their own medicine. How's that for New Year's resolution? Grr! They're bringing out the beast in me!"

"When I was young they told me when I grow up I'll learn how to like certain people.No one mentioned that I'll learn how to dislike some too."

"I realized that people won't take action unless it's for their own benefit, or as long as they're not affected."

"I want to 'AFFECT' you all so much just to see you all in (frantic) action. Can you see my horns and tail now? Sorry I lost my halo." (December 22, 2010 )

"I put away the horns and tail before I went to sleep. I might still use it in the future. No need to look for the halo. I'll keep the cape." (December 23, 2010)

~ excerpts from my tweets last December 2010, when I was really in a bad mood.

Common Sense

Sometimes we have to forgive people for the lack of common sense.

Common sense is expensive nowadays, so not everyone can afford it.

Not Impress..

Dear Mr. Know-It-All (a.k.a. "Intelligent"),

If being intelligent means being a jerk like you, then no thanks. Keep your 'smart'(-ass) to yourself.

Quick thinking and common sense are enough for me. Thank you.

With worst regards,

- Ms. Not-Impress (-At All)

---

*Submitted post to Dear Meat.

Craving..

I usually don't mind being alone. I can find lots of things to do like: read, write, watch dvds, draw, etc. I also have plenty of imagination, so my mind's almost always busy making up stories, or daydreams; and apart from those, I like to think. I think of  lots of things, random stuff like: numbers, trees, nature, human personalities, food, animals, aliens, stars, moon, clouds, etc., so solitariness (and boredom) is really not a problem for me. 

But... sometimes I get so lonesome, I actually crave for company. All my friends are married already and busy with their own lives (namely husband and kids); I feel that asking them out will be a great bother to them. Yes, I go out with my sisters, but sometimes we crave for friends' company; and that's what I'm lacking of here - in real life.

I have plenty of online friends, who are always there for me. In fact, some of them told me that if I have any troubles, or just needed someone to talk to, they're just there. I only have to reach out. I'm really thankful for having friends like them. I love them dearly for keeping our friendship, even though most of the time I seldom go online and chat with them.. How can they tolerate me like that, I don't really know. I'm only grateful I have these kinds of friends.

Recently, I find myself craving for my online friends' company, but whenever I go online, I find it hard to initiate a conversation. I don't know what to say. So I always just end up staring at their names on Facebook, or username on messengers (msn/skype).

I guess what I'm honestly craving for, is a friend who will just sit and watch the clouds roll by with me. There will be no need for words, coz words sometimes are misunderstood; sometimes it hurts.. What I  crave for, or what I really need..

.. is a friend who can share my silent moments..

.. my silence, my peace..

Twitter

It's been five years since I first use Twitter. If I remember right, it was last July 25, 2007 when I first tweet. Back then, there were not much people using it. Everyone's tweeting about their normal, mundane life, which I find more interesting to read than quotes, jokes, news, or celebrity blurbs.

I miss those days when twitter is not for the famous and advertisers, and more for the normal people, tweeting their normal lives.

Cursive Writing

It's been more than a decade since I wrote in cursive. So last night I decided to try it again. I used to have readable/tolerable (if not nice) cursive writing when I was young. When I transferred school for the first time during my senior year in highschool (that's when I was fifteen), I taught myself to write in print. Since then, I rarely write in cursive anymore. Once in a while, especially when I'm in a rush, I write in cursive, mixed with print (big and small letters), or block letters (all capital letters). And so, as you've probably guessed, my handwriting turned out a mess. One could only guess whether I'm writing in cursive, or print, or block, since they all mixed together. Just imagine, talking in three different language, and you'll get the idea.

Years later, I studied computer courses - which means, I was introduced to keyboard - hence, typing. My writing deteriorate more after that. I got more used to typing, than writing. Btw, I don't have proper training in typing. I only learned how to type when I started chatting on mIRC (that was year 2000). I started typing slowly, using only one or two fingers, but the speed of conversation in the channel/room on mIRC, pushed me to use all my fingers to catch up with all the chats. Then I created a blog so I can practice my typing 'skills'. I got so hyper practicing typing, I ended up with multiple blogs (currently, I have more than 20 blogs online :( I know, it's crazy). 

Anyway, after that, the school I've studied computer courses, gave me a job. And so..... you get the picture already. The only time I write here is when I issue receipts for students (yup, you guessed it. I'm clerk, registrar, course consultant, etc. etc.), or when the 'bosses' asked me to copy something, most of the time I use computer. Whenever I write, I write in print. It's more easier for me now.

But..

I miss cursive writing. There's such creativeness in it. Writing in cursive almost seems like doodling.. and I like to doodle. Think about it, in a way, cursive writing can be considered as art.It also reminds me of classics, literature writers, where they write their stories in pen/ink and paper. They all write in cursive, don't they?

And so I decided, little by little, I will go back to cursive writing. They said practice makes anything perfect. Let's see how perfect my cursive writing will be after practice. I better start now, before "rheumatoid arthritis" sets in. ;)

Grammar-Migraine

Before the computer 'era', (when I was in my teens) I used to write my thoughts, woes, dreams, complaints, wishes, etc. in my diaries.. Now, I created a blog so I can share them online. I was updating it just now; I only took a short break so I can write this post and give myself some 'brain-rest'. I'm having migraine reading all my old diaries. I feel like my head will explode. My english (grammars, spelling, etc.) back then, were really, really bad. Though, I admit that my grammars and spellings still sucks, I'm glad to know (realized) I have improved a lot since then. I know I still have lots to learn. I'm going to do my best to improve myself.

Letter

Dear Parents,

Trying, or wanting to be independent from you, doesn't mean -
.. that we already wanted EVERYTHING to be done in our own way;
 .. or that we're running away from you;
  .. or that we're rebelling;
   .. or that we love you less.

A little guidance, trust and encouragement is what we need.

Release your hold a bit, and we'll make you proud.

Still yours,

Daughters & Son

----

*Submitted post to Dear Meat.

Bingley and Darcy

Mr. Bingley is the epitome of a nice "amiable" guy (with good looks and fortune), yet he's often only second best to Mr. Darcy; the second choice of people, especially of women; and I'm not only talking about the people (characters) in the book, but also of some of the fans of Pride and Prejudice book. Some (if not most) men want to emulate Mr. Darcy, while most women want to find someone like him.

Bingley was only 'prioritize', or had most of the attention, when Darcy's unsociable and reserved personality became apparent to everyone. Still, in the end, when Darcy's behavior was recommended and became acceptable, he was again exalted in their eyes, and Bingley was, once again, push to the second rank.

Why?

I think because most people love the mystery behind the 'silent-type' image, the pride (not vanity), and confidence of the person (such as the character of Mr. Darcy), incites challenge and interests. For men, it shows superiority in personality. For women, apart from the countenance, the 'challenge' he incites (and excites) them, doubling with the hope of being 'the one' who would catch the eye, change and warm the heart of this difficult one, makes him interesting, and a great "catch".

People love mysteries and challenges, and the harder these two things are, the more they put their full attention, or focus to these. Mr. Darcy's personality provides more mystery and challenge, than that of Mr. Bingley's, and so he garnered more attention and admiration than his friend.

.. and oh, it was said he's more handsome and rich than Mr. Bingley.

It's enough

Just knowing you're there, alive and breathing, is already enough.

for me..

---

I'm back again to how I was before I met him.