Craving..

I usually don't mind being alone. I can find lots of things to do like: read, write, watch dvds, draw, etc. I also have plenty of imagination, so my mind's almost always busy making up stories, or daydreams; and apart from those, I like to think. I think of  lots of things, random stuff like: numbers, trees, nature, human personalities, food, animals, aliens, stars, moon, clouds, etc., so solitariness (and boredom) is really not a problem for me. 

But... sometimes I get so lonesome, I actually crave for company. All my friends are married already and busy with their own lives (namely husband and kids); I feel that asking them out will be a great bother to them. Yes, I go out with my sisters, but sometimes we crave for friends' company; and that's what I'm lacking of here - in real life.

I have plenty of online friends, who are always there for me. In fact, some of them told me that if I have any troubles, or just needed someone to talk to, they're just there. I only have to reach out. I'm really thankful for having friends like them. I love them dearly for keeping our friendship, even though most of the time I seldom go online and chat with them.. How can they tolerate me like that, I don't really know. I'm only grateful I have these kinds of friends.

Recently, I find myself craving for my online friends' company, but whenever I go online, I find it hard to initiate a conversation. I don't know what to say. So I always just end up staring at their names on Facebook, or username on messengers (msn/skype).

I guess what I'm honestly craving for, is a friend who will just sit and watch the clouds roll by with me. There will be no need for words, coz words sometimes are misunderstood; sometimes it hurts.. What I  crave for, or what I really need..

.. is a friend who can share my silent moments..

.. my silence, my peace..